One day i realized that i would never be truly satisfied despite my many efforts and accomplishments so i gave up everything.

At first, i mistakenly thought that “everything” meant things and people, so i quit my job, sold my house, and moved across the country in search of a satisfying answer as to why i didn’t feel quite right inside even though everything appeared to be alright.

What I discovered was that the “i” that i used to identify with was some made-up idea of “me”. Believing that “i” was something that I am not, was the sole reason for not feeling right within.

When “i” let go of all illusions of “me”, then I experience the actual Me, and experiencing the actual Me is Truly Wonderful.

Here’s a little glimpse of “my” life experience before releasing everything “i” believed, and “my” life experience now.

 

*Note: “me” and “my” are in quotes both before releasing concepts and after releasing concepts because there never is an actual “me” or an actual “my”.  Those possessives are simply mental names for what a group of minds decided to call “pronouns”.  I use “pronouns” throughout the website because it tends to make reading easier.  But because identifying with a “pronoun” means identifying with the mind, and the point of this website is to show the mind that it is not You, I occasionally “quote” the mental concepts so that the mind begins to see itself as itself, a mind made up of concepts.  With more and more space from the mind and all its noise, You can begin to see the actual You: True, Complete, Perfection.

 

Before i released everything “my” mind believed, I used to work at a job with long hours and little pay, be annoyed by people and their drama, and stay in relationships long after they were over.

Despite my being stressed and annoyed, people used to regularly come to me for advice about life and relationships.  (Strange I know.)  I guess it looked like i had it all together with my college education and career, nice house with beautiful furniture, and general positive outlook on life.  Somehow that material stuff deemed me worthy of giving advice even though i had no business giving advice about anything.

i worked hard, did the best i could, and eventually gave up.  That’s when the Actual Living started.

Now Life is easy; my mind is clear.

I am no longer using my degrees; I am Being what I unlearned.  Life is effortless when I let it be Itself.  I do things that feel natural from a clear mind and there is always enough.  There is always enough food, enough money, enough whatever.  “People” may like to take credit for the money, or food, or whatever that flows through, but “people” are not the source of supply.  Presence is the source and the supply.  Stay with Presence, as Presence, and all seeming needs are met.)

I didn’t all of a sudden become dumb when the mind cleared.  I still know how to walk and drive and talk and breathe, fix a toilet, and prepare a meal (among other things).  It’s not like I can’t do anything without mental concepts.  I can actually do a lot more without concepts.  I experience things as they actually are instead of as the mind thinks they are or thinks they should be.  There is an amazing wisdom in letting everything be itself.

As the True Self, I am relaxed no matter what the world seems to be up to.  I no longer “want” anything; not because I have everything, but because I feel so right within that nothing more could possibly improve on this Perfection that I feel right now.

Life has been like this for several years.

 

“my” maintenance

Just because i’ve cleared a lifetime of mental concepts doesn’t mean i’m automatically clear for the rest of “my” life.  I still have a body with senses and it picks up patterns.  In the material world, the world that the senses look to for patterns, noise seeps into the mind and creates patterns.  At the grocery store there’s music playing, at the gas station, commercials running, at the park there’s _____, at the house there’s ______.  All of that noise is like miles on a car, it wears “me” down.

So, in order to continue to be able to see Clearly and experience the True Self directly, it is essential that i do some routine maintenance, just as i would (and do) for “my” car.

For the car, it’s the cleaning, oil change, tire rotation, fluid checks, the basics.  For “my” body, it’s these things:

For “my” body, clean eating means:

  • a gallon of clean water a day
  • high protein daily, lean proteins and proteins free from hormones and chemicals
  • lots of  dark, green vegetables
  • fresh fruit early in the day
  • complex carbohydrates, early and mid-day

*I discovered that “my” body is allergic to sugar and refined carbohydrates.  When given sugar and refined carbs, like the average pizza, for example, my body responds with a headache, drained energy, irritability, and more cravings for the stuff it is allergic to.  Eating foods that my body is allergic to slows down my ability to be clear and tends to draw my attention away from Presence and toward the mind.  Eating foods that support my body’s healthy functioning  do not draw my attention away from Presence at all.  Instead, with wholesome food my body feels neutral and I am Clear.  (Of course it is possible to not be clear while eating a wholesome diet.  Releasing concepts is the way to empty the mind, it’s just that a wholesome diet is one thing that helps “me” maintain the empty mind experience.)

Exercise feels very essential for the body that I experience life with.  The type of exercise varies depending on what’s happening in “my” life at the moment.  Sometimes exercise means a casual walk, other times it means:

a run

a hike

a bike ride

weight training

interval training

stretching

dancing

climbing a tree

the list goes on.

Basically, when the body is adequately worked out it’s not demanding my attention with aches and pains and disorders.  With a neutral body, a body that feels taken care of, I simply rest in the Ease that is the True Self.

Clean eating and exercise feel essential for “my” body’s optimal functioning, but even more so as preparations for rest.  Rest is where It’s really at.  It, of course, is Presence.

Now, to be very clear, Presence is always Being ItSelf as Presence, Everywhere, Always.  It does not go away just because “i” am busy.

It may seem like Presence leaves when “busyness” happens, but that’s only because the attention tends to leave Presence and follow “being busy”.  So, the natural thing to do when doing things is to keep the attention with Presence, as Presence, and not engage the mind.  (Which is hard to do if the mind is filled with concepts acting like children having temper tantrums, thus the releasing everything the mind believes bit.)

So, with the disclaimer of Presence Being Everywhere, in “my” experience, Rest is a wonderful way to experience Presence.  Even though Presence is always being experienced, it’s especially wonderful to experience It when the body’s senses are slowed down,  when the eyes are closed, when the earplugs are in, when the body is still.

This kind of restful maintenance helps the mind let go of any patterns it may have picked up throughout the day.

Quiet is right up there with rest; it is so essential.

Sure, Presence can be experienced in the midst of noise, but it’s a lot more work.  Just imagine trying to carry on a meaningful conversation with someone you care about at a loud, crowded, bar.  You’ve got to basically yell at the person you’re trying to talk to even though they’re sitting right next to you, and you can hardly even understand what they’re saying because the music is so loud and everyone else is yelling to be heard also.  Eventually, you just give up trying to have a meaningful conversation and instead do basic, crowded-bar things, like drink and have meaningless conversations (or you leave).

Leaving the noise is oh-so-nice.  Noise tends to linger a while even after leaving noise, like the song that gets stuck in your head, but if you wait it out, the noise settles and the silence left over is Perfection.

There are times when i “seemingly” disconnect from Presence.  I say “seemingly” because I never actually disconnect from Presence, it’s just that “my” attention might leave Presence and follow some pattern that the mind has picked up.  This doesn’t happen a lot, but it does happen if i don’t stay on “my” maintenance.

Seemingly disconnecting from Presence sucks.  It’s like going from Bliss to hell in one quick breath.  Luckily, the pain of “disconnection” is so bad that it doesn’t take much to show me that my attention has left and followed some mental concept.  Luckily, I know what to do about it: stop immediately, be still, be quiet, lay down, release.

But just because I know what to do about it doesn’t mean it’s clear until it’s actually clear.  This is where the paying “my” dues comes in.

For example, if i eat that piece of cake that my body is allergic to, my body’s going to freak out.  It’s going to get a headache, maybe a stomach ache, and probably feel irritable.  The only thing to do after eating that piece of cake is pay my dues, which means, deal with the body’s freak out, drink lots of water to flush it through, and wait for it clear.

The same is true with “disconnecting” from Presence.  If that “seems” to happen, simply pay the dues of feeling the seeming pain of “disconnection”, stop “disconnecting”, release all mental concepts, and get back to experiencing the Perfection of Presence.

Releasing is the experience of recognizing a concept as nothing more than a mental concept and being with it until it clears, empties, dissolves into Absolute nothingness.

For “me”, the releasing process goes something like this:

If “my” attention is with a mental concept, then i can feel the heaviness or discomfort of paying attention to it.  When i’m ready to let the concept go, then I find a quiet space to get comfortable in.  Because releasing concepts takes as long as it takes, sometimes a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, I make sure I can really be comfortable and relax, even lay down.

The process starts out mentally.  i see the concept in the mind and I watch it just as I would watch a movie or a group of people from across the street.  I’m simply watching, I’m not participating.  This is a big part of the releasing process.  If i feel like i am a part of the story in the mind then i am not ready to release it.  But, if I can see the story as an observer, then I will be able to release it.

So, watching the mind’s mental concept, I simply let the mental concept think whatever it feels like thinking and I let it take its time with all that thinking.  I mentally and energetically tell the mind’s concept that it is free to be itself, whatever that is, however that is, over and over again.

I feel calm and relaxed.  Any heaviness associated with the concept beings to lighten as the concept begins to clear.  The more and more the concept clears, the lighter and lighter I feel.  Eventually the concept disintegrates into little particles and then into Nothing.  The concept is gone.   Gone, gone.  What is left over is the Complete, Wonderful, Perfection of Love, the True Self.

In the concepts absence, I see that the concept was simply blocking my experience of this Love.  The concept was/is only an illusion.

This Love that is left over once all the concepts clear is all there Truly Is.

 

*These things took me a while to figure out and they are specific to the body that I experience life with.  They are in no way Absolute nor are they recommendations for “you”.  This maintenance is simply what works for “my” body and helps “me” be clear so that I can experience what I truly Am instead of what “my” mind thinks i am.  This is here as an example to point you in the direction of paying attention to what feels right, for You.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *